I have just sent my letter to santa for this year at [ Santa Online ].

It went like this….

Dear Santa,

I hate Christmas and wish it would just go away. Consequently I don’t really want any present from you.

However it is my understanding that as Santa, it is your responsibility to distribute presents to all the good boys and girls, regardless of their enjoyment for Christmas.

As usual, I have been unbelievably good again this year, hence I realise it would be highly inappropriate for me to ask you not to bring me anything as that would put you in the situation of forcing you to fail to meet your key KPI (ie. delivering to ALL good boys and girls).

As a compromise, I propose the following solution…

I think it would be most appropriate for both of us if you can simply bring me a copy of the book ‘the Grinch who stole Christmas’.

That way, you meet your obligations, and I get a nice story about a motivational role model, and his struggle to survive in a prejudice and oppressive society that refuses to accept the differing belief structure of his minority group.

Thanks heaps,

Little Shane