Right, Where did we leave off?

That’s right , I was bag smack in the middle of telling the story of Maxwell and his heart attack.

And, if I remember rightly, I left you with the following choices on what poor old Maxwell may have done:
A: Google Heart attack to see what fate await ’em?
B: Continue on working?
C: Tell ‘is boss that ‘is ticker is given up?
D: Call the ol’ white rescue boat (ambulance) to take ‘im to ‘ospital?
E: Decide its only indigestion an’ give up Coffee to stop it happen’ again?

(Note: The 2nd half of this story will be in English, not piratiese, as it is no longer TLAP Day)

So far only Mayo has made a guess, and he chose option A.
Adam didn’t guess as he already knows the answer… which is surprising as normally he would take any opportunity he can get to cheat.

But back to the story…

We left Maxwell sitting at his desk with a pressure in his chest, and a pain shooting down his right arm. Now clearly, being a geek, the first thing he was going to do was to do a quick self diagnosis.

Sure enough, he pulled up google (option A) and typed in Heart Attack. Now given the pain he was experiencing, this was a little bit of a gamble as time could be of the essence. But then again, you don’t want to be needlessly panicking about these things.

Sure enough google confirmed his fears – a heart attack is often first felt as pressure in the chest and a pain in the arms (most commonly the right arm). Now naturally this wasn’t the answer he wanted, so he decided he must just be imagining the severe pain, and tried to forget about it for a few minutes…

It is at this point the I feel a quote from the first site that shows up in the results for ‘heart attack’ on google…
Learn the signs–but also remember: Even if you’re not sure it’s a heart attack, you should still have it checked out. Fast action can save lives-maybe your own.

So, completely disregarding this advise, Maxwell continued to work (Option B).

A few minutes late a co worker asked him to do some work… so Maxwell decided he’d head off and do some other work for 30min or so to try and take his mind off things.

When we quizzed him on how smart this was, he owned up to the fact that he did leave the google search on his screen just in case. He figured if he did start dying, someone would check is desk to see if he’d been taking any medication, and would spot the search on screen. It amazes me the forethought that went into this, while at the same time managing to completely disregard the actual advise the search reviled.

Anyway, back to the story…
Sure enough after another 30 minutes the pain was even worse!

So, he decided he should get it seen to. He went to his boss (Option C) and announced
“Um, don’t freak out, but I think I’m having a heart attack…”
“Er, are you kidding???”
“Ar, no. I’m serious.”
“(calmly) Ok, I’ll call the ambulance, you sit down.”

So a little later, the ambulance arrived (Option D).

Maxwell then spent the next 24 hours sitting in a hospital bed bored out of his tree while hospital staff ran around going “um”, “ar” and “let me stick another needle in you”.

Now naturally, they couldn’t find out what the problem was – but they did suggest it might have been ‘muscle cramps’.

Maxwells flat mate thinks this diagnosis is a crock – as after all muscle cramps are a bit hard to get when you don’t have any muscles.

So after doing some self diagnosis on google, Maxwell has decided it may have just been indigestion – so he as given up coffee!!! (option D)

So that’s right – the actually did all of the options (in order).

Got to cut this update now as tea is ready 🙂
Shane